“It’s just a quick question!” These questions are NEVER quick.
Right after my book Hex Twisting came out, I had a period where I was inundated with DMS asking me for advice, and phone calls. “It’s just a quick question!” one person protested when I responded with my booking link. Another person insisted on a phone call, and when I said no, it was again, “It’s just a quick question!”
Image of a Mangled Corded Phone
I’m a spirit worker. The only quick questions we ever get in our field is “Can you do this thing or not?” Even then, it’s never quick. Some folks would try the “I need a phone call to screen you!” when I refused the initial overture.
No, you don’t.
Notably, these requests landed in my Facebook Message Requests, or in my Instagram DMS. None ever showed up through my Facebook business page nor my present website. People who went through the proper channels, respecting my personal public space versus my business public space, got a little more latitude. I will answer questions more in-depth through my site, or on my author Facebook page. I have a Substack chat and a Patreon for in-depth Q&A.
These people sliding into my DMS were, with a few wonderful exceptions, trying to get something for nothing. The quick question was seeking free advice. All professions get a version of it. Medical professionals often receive requests like, “Can you look at this mole?” and auto mechanics, “My car is making this noise.” Often, like me, they may answer a question or two - and then tell the person to make an appointment. Usually people do or don’t. However, with spirit workers, people often want the entire consultation to take place right there and then. When the subject of paying for my time and skill comes up, suddenly there’s a “but money isn’t spiritual!” It’s obvious manipulation, and that particular brand of con artist tends to form a line in front of competent spirit workers.
The phone calls are an even more direct way to try for the freebie. Either the person wants me to listen to their whole situation, or they want me to engage in pony tricks like “guess my middle initial.” If you’re demanding that I seek your approval, I don’t want to work with you. And because money is my companion, but not my ruler, I won’t work with you if you try that. Almost always the questions need a reading - and I am not about to give a reading, bias, or opinion without a confirmed reservation.
My time is just as valuable as the caller’s. Their valuable time is not more important than my valuable time.
When someone books an appointment with me, they pay for two things: my time and my skill. My time is as valuable as my skills and knowledge. Phone calls, especially, take time. They prevent me from engaging in other income-generating activities. If I’m answering a string of “quick question” DMS, it infringes on the time and support I need to stay good at my job. It reduces my availability to my core of paying clients.
Urban Magick did not get such disrespect - instead, it got mutual exchange. I heard from city planners and urban magicians. No one wanted access to my time and skill. People that reached out wanted an even exchange of ideas. It was a very different experience.
I’m working on books again, after a very long time. I expect to see more of these behaviors and deal with more lashing out at that golden word, “No.” I’m still going to say it. And I’ll likely have a little something prepared for the people that don’t want to hear it.
