Bad Clients: Fake Tarot Emergencies & Poor Boundaries
The vast majority of my tarot/divination clients rock. They’re clear about goal setting, often have an understanding that the framing of the question matters more than the answers, and they’re prepared to integrate our card-driven conversations into their personal solutions.
This is not me - I’m ayt Slavic woman. But the expression is very me.
Part of the reason they rock so consistently? Healthy gatekeeping.
There are certain people that I don’t take, and won’t let past the threshold. If they get pushy about it, I definitely won’t let them past, especially if they’re demanding I a)change my availability to suit them b)drop what I’m doing or c)make assumptions about my moral and practical outlook.
A few examples of people I’ve refused as tarot clients:
A couple years back, someone reached out to my business partner for metaphysical assistance. Ostensibly the person was on an adrenaline loop - the sort that needs an allopathic doctor, not a witch. I was presenting at a conference that weekend. For those unaware, teaching and presenting at conferences require a significant amount of energy. I also often end up with many incidental short-term clients at these events, as it’s an opportunity to consult not otherwise available. After a few hours of my business partner asking me to stop all my activities to consult with this client, it became clear that the person was trying to interrupt my trip and drain my energy, as well as that of my business partner. I don’t fault Nikki for what happened - it can take a while to recognize certain types of malice when you haven’t had it as a regular feature in your life. Nikki’s had her share of life’s bullshit, but as far as I can tell, malignant narcissism is a bit newer to her than to me. Sometimes I just spot the bad faith sooner.
Multiple people ask me to change my schedule for their convenience. I rarely do, and it’s usually for long-time established clients. I have a scheduling calendar for a reason, and I also have other tasks that need attention. I haven’t been the weird girl in a dorm room with nothing more important to do in decades. You don’t ask your dentist to change their hours, or your lawyer. I am also a service professional running a business, managing the resource that is myself. I am not your batique-clad friend that can drop everything; I’m a goth-punk hybrid with a schedule, not a hippie charging $777 for an energy alignment and trading for crystals mined with dubious environmental impact.
If someone can’t wait over a weekend, or even a few hours, for a response, they’re out. I will block them from booking me. I’ve had people try to reach me across multiple platforms without even giving me a full hour to respond. I had one person send me nastygrams for “not responding” when she messaged me over a holiday weekend. My phone is not a 24-access gateway to me. It’s a tool of communication I use on a schedule as is best for my health and cognition. A stressed-out, overstimulated tarot reader/spiritual teacher is NOT a good one.
I also did not believe it is coincidence when someone needs to book me Right Now when I publicly announce a road trip for work. “Can I talk to you sooner?” No. There are no tarot emergencies. Astrologers might have them, what with the space weather and all, but I don’t. If you’re having a crisis over a relationship badly enough you need tarot-clarity, the relationship needs a pause or space anyway.
Occasionally, a client's needs extend beyond the scheduled time. I am ok with this once in awhile. However, when it becomes a pattern of behavior, with the client constantly asking for more time, my alarm bells go off. First, I’m here to help improve my client’s independence - and that behavior is a type of dependence. Second, for some, it’s a game of how much control over me they have by taking as much of my time as they can get away with.
I have said many times that witchcraft shows up universally across nearly all cultures. However, witchcraft is not culturally the same worldwide. What a witch in India does is far different from one in Nigeria. Certainly we all borrow ideas and technologies from each other (some with more respect for origins and context than others.) I sometimes encounter clients who bring their own cultural biases and expectations to our sessions. Then they’re surprised and disappointed when I don’t offer blessings, predict people's fates, or give them advice on controlling their adult children. I’m the kind of witch that’s there to give you power through personal awareness and learning what’s not yours to control. If your adult child isn’t speaking to you, you are indeed the problem. No amount of magical coersion will make things better, and I’m not going to enable abusive behaviors.
As I mentioned, most of my clients are exceptional individuals eager to move forward in their lives. They come to me ready to build a relationship of mutual respect. Spiritual consultation is only one tool in their life toolbox. It can not be interchanged with medical support, therapy, or the sometimes unavoidable grind of hard work and introspection. They recognize the difference between service and servant. I am not the latter.
And again, there are no tarot emergencies. Divination, especially with me, isn’t the best thing to manage your nervous system short-term.
